High Five For Friday + The Big One

It's been a while...the day after my last post, my husband and I went to New York for 4 days, and things have not slowed down since!

I'm linking up today for High Five For Friday! Some of the things I am loving this week...

1. Christmas! Let's just go ahead and get that out of the way, because obviously it's at the top of the list. I got some running/triathlon goodies, and this may possibly be the best one (for my marathon in, oh, only 22 days!)

2. Running buddies! I think I've run more with others than alone in the past couple of weeks, which is unusual for me but much appreciated! I have really come to realize recently that, while I really do love running alone and need that time to myself, having a friend or two can really make the miles zoom by.

3. Our trip to New York. I am working on the world's longest recap of anything ever, but for now here are some highlights of our trip.

4. Weeds. So like 2 weeks ago I was obsessed with Scandal...then I had no episodes of Scandal left to watch and it was on to the next round of binge-watching. Weeds has been in our queue for years but I had never watched it until last week sometime. I'm not AS obsessed as I was with Scandal, but it's keeping me entertained. I rarely watch TV but when I do, it's because I'm on break and can host my own TV marathons.

5. Running. I know I already mentioned running, but this is different. I've been struggling with some serious indifference to running lately and going back and forth between loving and hating it. After my run on Sunday, I actually contemplated throwing in the towel on the whole thing. But then, a Christmas miracle...I had hoped to run in between opening presents at our house and going to my parents' house...didn't happen. Then I was hoping the new Garmin we got my dad would sway him into running with me after we ate...didn't happen. Instead I spent 5 merry miles running my normal route, alone, at dusk, and it was AMAZING! It was mentally and physically the best run I've had in quite some time. Whether it means I'm getting my running mojo back or not, who knows, but I will celebrate any good run at this point!

That leads me to...The Big One, aka my last long run before the marathon. I am running 20-22 miles, 14 alone then meeting my dad and a friend for the last 6-8. To say that I am feeling tired and worn out and overwhelmed at this point is a huge understatement. I am. Everything hurts. I'm exhausted. Every day there's a new pain somewhere that I didn't even know pain could exist. And yet, I just keep pushing. Because as hard as it is to keep going, I know in my heart it would feel so much worse to quit. I said I thought about dropping out of the race, and I was serious. Not for long, but I was. I told my husband, and he told me what I needed to hear: how disappointed I'd be in myself if I didn't follow through. I am not a quitter. I do not give up. Propositum tene, that's my motto.

(I don't have it tattooed on my wrist for nothin'!)

I've been thinking a lot lately, reflecting on everything I've done and accomplished this year, and it is A LOT. I have been so busy just DOING things this year, always working, always striving for the next thing, always pushing, checking goals off my lists and immediately making new ones, that I haven't really taken a step back to stop and look at all my hard work. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm astounded I was able to do even half the things I did this year, and a big part of that was preparing for this marathon. Now it's the day before my last long run. After tomorrow, I can punch my card to taper town. Making this training plan in June, I don't know if I ever really thought about this moment. Every run, I wonder how I'll get through it. But the most important thing I've learned? I will. I may not know how, but I will. Six months ago I didn't know how I'd get through training for my first Olympic tri, or how I'd get through the race itself. I didn't know how I'd run 4 more half marathons, and more than that on a weekly basis. I really didn't. But I've done it, just by putting one foot in front of the other. I'm not quite there yet, but I am so, SO close. All I have to do is keep going.