Patience.

Patience is a virtue.

One that I definitely do not possess.

I have always been impatient and a little bit impulsive. I can be fine and then, all of a sudden, I want something to happen. And I want it to happen NOW. And if I want it to happen now, I will usually find a way to make it happen now.

I do it all the time. I don't know to methodically save and instead make impulse purchases. If I'm looking forward to something, I wish away all the days in between the present and that day. I graduated from college a year early because I just couldn't bear the thought of staying any longer. I have created problems in relationships because I don't know how to let things happen naturally.

It doesn't help that I have a go, go, go personality. I always need to be doing something, working on something, thinking about and planning for what's next. In a lot of ways, I really value this quality in myself. It has led me to do some pretty amazing things and push myself out of my comfort zone. I am a true believer that in order to get things done, you actually have to DO something. Part of why I've been so successful in accomplishing the goals I set for myself is because I don't just dream things up. I'm pragmatic in my approach to my aspirations and don't attempt anything without a clear plan of how to get from Point A to Point B. And once I have that plan in place, I'm fully committed to go out and fulfill the plan to my best capability.

The problem is that in a lot of ways, I have taken my philosophy of "Go. Do." to an extreme. I am very emotionally-driven, and that combined with my lack of patience can lead to me saying and doing things before I have really processed my feelings and the consequences of my actions.

The past couple of weeks, I have let my impatience and anxiety snowball and get the best of me. It's exhausting, and I'm ready slow down. The magnitude of this upcoming week is really starting to overwhelm me, and I really just want need to take a step back and focus.


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