Four Years

Four years ago today, I said "I do" and kissed this handsome man in a church full of our most beloved friends and family.


Four years ago today, my brand new husband and I stepped foot into our wedding reception, where we danced while listening to these words:

Sun will peek into our windows and be surprised to find

empty beds


walls naked
our closets stripped of all its threads.

We will awake in a new world,


our own island,

this floating map,
a jagged slab,
where bulbs burn for us until the end.



The beginning of our relationship was quite tumultuous, but also quite romantic. It was a whirlwind of jumping from friends to more-than-friends. This song and the album it's on came out that very same first week. It became the soundtrack to my navigating the new world that had just opened up. I listened to it on repeat for hours. I listened to it driving that same familiar drive to Blacksburg to move my things out of my freshman year dorm, back when all I could do was hope that Ben saw me like I saw him. Back when it felt like the whole world was against us - but it didn't matter, as long as we had each other.


Dancing to it four years later at our wedding, I never could have anticipated how literally those words would ring true in another four years. 

We totes talked through our entire first dance...we are that awkward
Four years later and we are not even in the same bed. The walls we know as home are bare. Our current closets are suitcases. 

We have awaken this week, our anniversary week, in a new, yet familiar world. So strange that four years after our wedding day we're back in a place we'd never thought we'd be again. Back where it all started.

Some people say the first year of marriage is the hardest. For us, it's definitely been this fourth year. With me quitting my job last summer to pursue another degree full-time, this year has certainly been unlike any other. It has been a wild ride, full of ups and downs. Of celebrations and disappointments. Of tears and laughter. 



But through it all, I know there's no one else I'd rather be on this ride with.




So interlock your fingers with mine. And squeeze tight. 




11 comments :

  1. You're too adorable. And if C and I had had a first dance, we totally would have picked the shortest song possible and talked through it as well. Seriously, everyone watching you dance? Awkward. :)

    I'm sorry that you guys aren't together this week. I'm sure that's super hard (if it were me, I'd probably be a teary puddle on the floor), but remember that this too will pass and all will be right with the world soon enough. Hugs!

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  2. You guys are adorable :) Jared and I talked through a lot of our first dance too haha. Cheers to many, many more memories and anniversaries to come!

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  3. Eeek! Happy Anniversary!!!! You two are so cute. Made for each other!! :)

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  4. Great, now I won't make it to my own anniversary because I just died of cuteness from yours ! I'm sorry you guys can't be together but that will just make your 5 year so much better ! You can have a double-versarry !

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  5. We talked through our entire first dance, too :) You were such a beautiful bride! Happy Anniversary -- hope you both have a wonderful day, even if you can't be together!

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  6. Happy Anniversary :) We talked through our first dance too!! This is such a beautifully written post...you two are lucky to have each other - here's to many, many more years <3

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  7. Oh what a sweet post. Happy anniversary! Love the pictures you shared and that song too :) here's to another hundred years together! xo

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  8. Your pictures are so pretty! I love your dress! Here's to many more years of adventures!! :)

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  9. Happy belated anniversary! I'm crying like a baby right now. This is such a sweet loving post Tracy. Such a beautiful depiction of marriage. Wishing you many more years full of ups and downs (it's the only way). XO

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  10. Gorgeous pictures! Happy anniversary to you guys! This is so cute!

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