Triathlon Thoughts: Breezy Point Sprint Tri

No, I don't mean that as in I'm going to wax poetic about my most recent race like I've done for my last couple. Instead, I thought it could be fun to recap this race a little differently, by literally sharing my thoughts from the hour and 26 minutes (and change) that I was out on the course. I took you through the motions with me during one of my triathlons last year, but now I think we're close enough that I can let you in on what really goes through my mind during a race. 

This time, it went a little something like this:

I shouldn't have let myself drift to the front of the pack while we were waiting to start. Now I'm surrounded by all these girls thrashing and I'm getting left behind. That was a mistake. Swim faster, swim faster!

Oh my god I can't breathe. I can't breathe?! Am I going to DNF? Or die? Why did I listen to that lady in the porta-potty line talking earlier about the time she had a panic attack in the water? (NB: This has NEVER happened to me before - I have been comfortable in water my entire life. I have no idea what that was about)

Ok this is kind of hard. Why do I tell people that anyone could do this? I mean, obviously if I'm doing it, technically anyone could, but still.

My goggles are foggy. I can't see anything. I don't see anyone behind me. Am I last?

*turn at the first buoy, sun is now on my right* Oh man I'm glad I'm a left-side breather, otherwise the sun would be in my eyes.

*turn at next buoy, sun is now on my left* Goddamnit why do I have to be a left-side breather?

Are we done yet? This is the longest swim in history.

Oops I just got a handful of ass. 

There's the boat ramp, finally! Why won't this girl in front of me get out of the water any faster?

If you want to take really great race photos, might I suggest a triathlon?
Why do I always act like I've never clipped into my bike before? Please don't let me fall, please don't let me fall.

Wow I'm passing a lot of people on the bike today! That's unusual.

Oh, good, I remember this part. The turnaround is right up here.

Oops I forgot about this part. The turnaround should be just up ahead.

Oh, and this part. The turnaround is definitely right after this.

No? Ok but seriously, where is the turnaround?!

Finally, there it is.

*do a bunch of mental math to see if I'll make it in my 40-minute goal time*

I forgot that riding with the wind at our backs coming out would mean we'd have to ride into wind coming back into transition. This is fun. 

Back in transition. Wow, I actually made my 40-minute goal!

Okay, focus. Is that my stuff? Mmmm, nope. Crap, where is my stuff? Is this the right rack? Oh there it is. Phew.

On to the run. My legs feel surprisingly not awful, maybe that's a good sign?

OMG it's hot. When did the sun come out in full force?

I wonder how long I've been running. Two minutes. TWO MINUTES?! I might die of heat stroke before I make it through 3 whole miles.

Ugh crap there goes a girl in my age group flying by me. Well, that dream of maybe placing was fun while it lasted. 

As if there were any question, this is definitely not going to be my best run. It would be embarrassing to start walking not even a mile in, right? I'll just slow down instead.

How are there no trees anywhere? I remember there being more trees when I last did this race. Please let there be some shade somewhere.

Oh look, there's the Mile 1 marker. If I make it to mile 1, then I'll be almost at mile 2, so I'll basically be almost done. That's definitely how math works.

Oh my god I am on fire. Literally, everything is burning. My shoulders are burning because the sun is burning them and my calves are burning because running. 

This is the most boring course ever. Who thought it would be a good idea to run around a Naval base? Why did I sign up for this?

There's the 2-mile marker. That means like 10 minutes left, right? 

*more mental math*

Yeah, 10 minutes maybe. I can do anything for 10 minutes.

What song would I listen to if I were allowed to have headphones right now? "Rap God"? Maybe that post-hardcore cover of "Blank Space"? I'll just sing those in my head to pass the time, that's kind of the same thing.

I'm almost done but I'm running right along the water...would they be mad if I just jumped in?

Probably. Maybe I should finish first then think about jumping in the water? Yeah, I'll do that.

I'm at the 3-mile mark, I'll just coast to the finish. Wait, is this girl coming up on my right in my age group? I think she might be. Crap, that means I have to start hustling so I don't lose an age group spot in last .1 mile.

Ok, I think I sped up enough to lose her. Almost done!

Are you kidding me, is that girl seriously crossing the finish line at the exact same second as me? Where did she come from?! *curse myself for not learning my lesson at Beacon of Hope two weeks ago*
Yeah this is definitely what I looked like the whole time I was out on the run.

In the end, I went home with a (surprising) 3rd place age group (Female 25-29) plaque and a new sprint PR (if that's really a thing...triathlons are so variable that it's hard to really compare any two). One thing I can say, though, since this is the only triathlon I've ever repeated, is that I PRed the course by 13.5 minutes from last time. I had a good, solid race - you know, despite not being in water for the last 3 weeks or for being in open water at all since last September...and not being the best cyclist...and not being used to running in the heat yet - and I'm proud of the race I ran. I'm not sure I'm ready to do what I did on Sunday times four, but I have 4.5 months to get there!


  1. 3rd place? That's awesome!!!! Congrats.
    Love the way you did this post-- so funny!

  2. "That's definitely how math works." I want you to narrate my life. Please come visit Raleigh and run with me so we can say these things out loud. Congrats on 3rd place because that's freaking AMAZE-BALLS !!

  3. AHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Yes. This. I'm so glad I'm not alone in thinking all sorts of crazy thoughts while I race. Mine include way more cuss words though, although I suppose you might have edited those out for the sake of the internet. And I might be more competitive... "Paige, don't you slow down and let that bi*ch in the pink shorts get ahead of you. Pick up the pace, woman!" Hahaha! Ohhhhh, running.

    And congrats again on placing! YAY

  4. I laughed so many times reading this. I think the turnaround and handful of ass were my faves. Seriously love it. But you are a badass and you deserve that plaque, fo shiz.

  5. You look so hardcore in your swimming picture! I love the narration style recap. Maybe I'll try that sometime, except mine would probably be mostly, "Oh God, this is awful." so maybe not.

  6. YOU.ARE.AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    & this was a fantastic recap!!! Hope you at least enjoyed that handful of ass :) haha

  7. Personally I LOVE THE WAY you recapped this! You crack me up. You're a rockstar, seriously!!!

  8. Congratulations again on placing!! I'm so proud of you, and 13.5 minutes is a crazy improvement over last year—especially considering the last few weeks. And also, this made me laugh so hard. I have some of the same thoughts even just in training runs, especially about math and what constitutes "almost there" or "practically done" haha. Have you picked an "official start date" yet??

  9. Way to go! I always panic in the water too- and have many of the same thoughts! Good job!

  10. Girl you seriously look legit in your pictures! Love it! And I laughed so hard at the handful of ass. I often think to myself....well if I just do 1 minutes more or 2 minutes more or whatever it isn't so bad because I can do anything for that long. I am pretty sure running for 10 minute more hasn't entered my vocab yet hahaha. Amazing job!!!!!

  11. You make it sound so easy! Congratulations on your finish and placing! I still can't imagine swimming in open water-- let alone swimming fast!

  12. omg...loved how you wrote this recap. reminds me... i should get an open water practice in this summer.

  13. You look so determined in your it!! LOL your thoughts are great and I can relate to a lot when I do long runs lol. GREAT JOB!!!! :)

  14. Ok, THIS was hilarious. As I've mentioned plenty of times, I've never had ANY desire to do a triathlon. Just not my thing. This whole post confirms that I'm going to be sticking to only running. ;) Also, I'm hoping you were referencing the I Prevail cover of "Blank Space" because I really, really love it.

    Lastly, WOOOOO! PR! WOOOO! Nice work. :)

  15. hahahaha "oops I just got a handful of ass!" You my friend are hilarious!! I love the different style of recapping (I actually am posting my treadmill thoughts tomorrow and some of these seem sooooo relevant) and I love the pictures too. I always regret not reading blogs when I don't read them because I miss these gems and Im way late to the joke! Congrats on 3rd place hun. You seriously rock!