Welcome, 2017

After a year of sorely neglecting this space, I snuck in at the last minute and have already recapped this year twice, but as the hours left in it dwindle down, with not even a full one left, I just can't let it go without saying some things.

I thought that I didn't have many good memories from this year, but the more I think back on it, I think that it's less that I don't have good memories and more that this year was just such a crazy rollercoaster and that now that it's coming to an end I am just tired. I'm tired because there were so many bad things, so many things that just didn't make sense, so many things that I just couldn't get to add up, and so many times that I was scared or anxious or sad, but there were also so many good things and so many good times.

There was the last day of February, the extra day that only comes four times a year, and the Universe must have known that I really needed an extra day this year. It was a gray morning when I ran through the streets of downtown D.C. and I wondered to myself, "Could this be home?"

There was the interview I went on that afternoon and the quiet hope that I didn't dare breathe a word of on the drive home.

There was the unseasonably warm and sunny first day of March an and email in my inbox.

There, in that offer, was the fulfilment of my dreams and the validation that my resignation from teaching and all of those Post-its strewn across my kitchen table two years earlier hadn't all been for naught.

There was the realization that the Universe doesn't owe me anything, and the unexpected peace that came from accepting that I will just never know some of the answers.

There was the new apartment in the city, in a neighborhood and on a street corner that ended up being the most perfect one in all the city, and the only place I could imagine living.

There was the most crowded but the happiest Prius that has ever driven out of an Ikea parking lot.

There was exploring so many pockets of the city, all on foot, and the solitude of the early hours that made me forget just how busy the streets can get.

There was the village that helped me keep it all together, or at least to be there to help me pick up the pieces when things fell apart.

There were the races that made me feel like me, that reminded me who I am and who I'm not and who I want to be.

There were milestones celebrated, successful years of our lives and of our marriage, and the wish for a million more.

There was Mike Reilly high-fiving me on the Riverwalk in Wilmington under one of the brightest, bluest October skies.

There were too-quick but much-needed visits with friends and family, filled with love and laughter.

There were plenty of things that I'd rather soon forget, but before I turn my back on them completely, let me acknowledge them, learn from them, embrace them, and move on from them.

With greater understanding, hope, and acceptance than ever,

welcome, 2017.

4 comments :

  1. Lovely post! Happy new year! I hope 2017 is less tiring (or maybe still tiring but "good tired" this time!) and that you create many great memories!

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  2. "The universe doesn't owe me anything." Yes girl! I came to that realization this year, too. A lot happened in 2016! Here's to a great 2017.

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  3. I love that you had a realization on that "extra" day. So cool!

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  4. love this post and looking back on everything. here's to 2017 :)

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